What is so bad about formalizing the arrangement so that we can all just go home happy?
And aside from that unpleasantness with that woman who scammed him, all Thurston had to wrestle with, really, was the nagging guilt that maybe this whole sugar-dating thing isn't so okay, particularly since he began before his divorce was even finalized. This felt like an ethical dilemma.” But he reminded himself that he was actually helping someone, a poor student, or someone who badly needed the money for, I don't know, medical bills or back taxes or vaping supplies.
Drama, according to Thurston, includes taking your time to decide whether you want to have sex, having any motive beyond the one you stipulated up front (which was greed), and a presumption that you will be courted. Sugar dating is the oldest dynamic around: Rich person contracts poorer but younger/hotter person into some combination of obligations that includes but is only rarely limited to straight-up sex.
As long as people have had money and other people have wanted money, this has been a thing.
Prada sunglasses, Jimmy Choos, Armani clothing, her Honda Civic... Kitten was teaching dance to kids for a while, and then one of the parents caught wind of what she did on the side, and suddenly there was no room for Kitten in the next season's teaching roster.
(The sugar baby, Alix Tichelman, pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter this spring and was sentenced to six years in jail.)There was a really famous TV star at the bar of the Manhattan restaurant where I met Kitten Babypuss (not her real name), but not one person was looking at him.
He went to some of the best colleges and grad schools. Just ask his ex-wife—even she wouldn't say a bad word about him.
But you know how it is, the fires dampen, and he wanted a lot of sex—“I'm Italian! ”—and eventually they divorced, and Thurston wanted something, mainly a lot of sex without having to beg for it, and to be found attractive again.
And that's what it came down to: “The whole concept of a sugar daddy intrigued me, because even if I were dating someone traditionally, I'd give them money anyway.”In any case, Thurston found no shortage of willing candidates eager to accept his altruism, and he dated a bunch of them at once, feeling like a “kid in a candy store.” Eventually he settled on one very beautiful woman, 28, in real estate, with a Wells Fargo account that he could drop ,000 into each month.
A note on the negotiation, from Thurston: “A lot of women put like ,000” in their online profiles as their hoped-for monthly stipend, but “you just say ‘I'll give you ,000’ and they say yes.” But he was still a novice at this, so he offered her ,000, and she jumped at it. Thurston got his happy ending, and he never got scammed again.
And he knows he got off easy with that woman; there are worse and more humiliating scams in the sugar-dating zip code than just losing a few hundred bucks.