But her soul was not ignoring it and part of the backlash of her soul was the subtle disrespect and not-so-subtle anger she had toward her husband.Through the years Sally had become a critical wife.Her guilt before God is no different than Ryan’s guilt before God when it comes to their choice to commit sexual sin.Do you think God would say, “Sally, your fornicating sexual sin before you were married is not as bad as your husband’s adulterous, sexual sin after you were married.” There may be a difference in , but if you group one sexual sin as “better” than another sexual sin, you’re playing intellectual games, while trying to protect something.The reason this is important is because it is honest and until they come full circle and deal with all the sinful sexual dysfunction in their lives, they will not be able to get real life-changing help. She also wanted to think her husband did not love the adulterous woman and it was sinful sexual lust. Her husband was in love with himself when they were dating and that has never changed. It would not do for him to just repent of adultery. Her husband is not much different from how he was when they were fornicating together twenty something years ago, prior to their marriage.You can’t divorce the sexual sin during the pre-marriage years from the sexual sin during the married years. I understood this, which is why I wanted to spend adequate time walking her through the adultery before we got into the patterns that were in place which led to the adultery.
Rather than owning their premarital sex sin, by repenting of it, talking to her husband about it, and being fully released from it, she and they ignored it.
I was not surprised by this, which is why I always ask a couple going through adultery if they fornicated during their dating years.
In almost every case the couple had indulged in premarital sexual sin.
This caused a backlash in her soul that affected her marriage.
I have described Paul’s text above like a person squeezing a hotdog balloon.
Rather than Sally trying to set herself apart as a better sinner, lesser sinner, not-as-bad-as-him-sinner, it would be more honest for her to own what she did and seek to repent to God and Ryan.