But that feeling is useless if he doesn’t make a consistent effort to see you.
Literally ALL that matters – if you want a healthy relationship – is how quickly he follows up to say, “When can I see you again?
“One of the things I learned from that whole experience, was that you should focus on one domain that really matters to people and just do that really well,” he said to Chang.
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These guys are attractive, successful, and seemed confident on our dates.
But they are both also busy professionals and divorced with kids, so it’s possible that they don’t date much and a few dates feels like a big deal to them. At this stage, the most a man could possibly commit to is dating me exclusively while we figure out if we’re compatible.
The biggest turn-off that women have in dating is the guy who calls too much. He starts talking about how amazing you are even though he barely knows you. He acts like you have a future together although you’re pretty sure you don’t know his middle name. He sends you text messages…once a week when he wants you to come over.
He tells you how beautiful you are five times per conversation. He tells you that you’re beautiful…when he’s not dating other women.
I ended things with him after 3 dates, though not because of this – we didn’t have a lot in common and the physical attraction wasn’t overwhelming.
(He emailed several times wanting to “talk about it” and “save our relationship”.)Yesterday I had an amazing first date with a different man – we talked for 3 hours over brunch and shared a long good-bye kiss. He said he was so excited to have found me – and that he was happy to finally be able to delete his OKC profile.
I’m looking for something long-term, and I don’t usually date more than one person at a time.
Not that it made any difference either way because these guys were not going to commit to anyone.
I’ve been reading some of your old columns dealing with the “insta-relationship” guy and whether it’s a red flag when a man seems over-eager to jump into a commitment.
And strangely, despite all this attention – BECAUSE of all this attention – you are immediately turned off. He treats you amazingly…or at least he did the last time you saw him. The very qualities that are the MOST indicative of the potential to build a life together – consistency and dedication – are the ones that you value LEAST.